Book about disability empowerment- 5 Things Parents Can Do To Help Their Disabled Teen
Book about disability empowerment- 5 Things Parents Can Do To Help Their Disabled Teen
ONE
Get your son or daughter with challenges exposed to their community through a vocational experience when the child is 11, 12 or 13-years-old. This could either be through a job sampling in careers of child’s interests or through volunteer work.
I believe differently-abled youth should be getting a head start to the work experience—not a late start or a no start. Kids with disabilities should be learning about careers and be provided vocational training in schools when they are 12 and 13, so that by the time they reach their middle teens they will have work experiences including job samplings, volunteering, and even paid employment reflected on their resumes.
Unfortunately this training is not being done for kids at these younger ages in traditional schools. Most traditional schools don’t even begin to engage their special education population into vocational programs until a student is 16-years-old.
I think that’s way too late.
Until schools provide individualized vocational services to students with special needs—starting with early intervention for kids aged 12 and 13-years old—parents need to step in and provide pre-employment training and career exploration experiences to their children with disabilities, up to and including helping find their kids jobs.
And if schools and parents won’t do it, then parents should privately contract with outside companies or people who specialize in that area to get it done. However it gets done, there must be early intervention for our children with challenges to succeed not only in the business world, but much more importantly, in life.
It’s a simple equation: Early intervention = success. Don’t just take my word on it, take Dr. Temple Grandin’s word on it.
Temple is a college professor, world-renown animal behavior expert, best-selling author, lecturer, and formerly one of Time magazine’s 100 Most Influential People. As perhaps the most famous person in the world with autism, Temple said she began her work experience when she was just thirteen-years-old, and advocates kids getting out to work sooner rather than later.
TWO
Connect your teen to their community and educate them on things that impact their lives:
- where the grocery market is and how to get there
- how to make a shopping list and how to shop (retrieve cart first, shop for cold items last, etc.)
- where your bank is and how to get there
- how to open up a savings account, write checks, pay bills, and balance checkbooks
- where the police station is and who the chief of police is
- where the closest hospital is
- how to access public transportation
- how to read bus and train schedules and where to go to access public transportation
Visiting the police station and having your son or daughter meet the police chief or bank manager or grocery store manager can benefit your child’s present and future. They’ll have a level of familiarity with their surrounding and will be informed on who to call, what to do, and where to go should they need any type of assistance.
And being trained in financial literacy and with other life skills will only help your child become more independent in their life.
THREE
*IF your son or daughter can do something by himself or herself, please allow your child to do it for themselves. Doing so will give your child confidence and will empower them. (*Obviously, the operative word is “if.” I’m not suggesting that you have your child—who does not have function of her arms—feed herself or cut her own food. Nor am I suggesting that you have your nonverbal child order his own meal for himself at a restaurant. You get the point. . .)
Every day I see parents doing things for their capable children—from tweens to teens—that these kids can (and should) be doing for themselves:
- Giving their teen’s orders to a restaurant server or order taker at a sub shop or deli: “I’ll have the blah, blah, blah and my (13-year-old) son will have the blah, blah, blah.” Order what you want, and let your child order what they want. Sure, the first time they may be nervous because they will be partaking in an adult ritual. But after doing it a few times, they’ll have confidence and will be empowered. In no time they will want to assert themselves and order on their own.
- Cutting their child’s food up and/or actually feeding their child, with the explanation: “Well, if I don’t feed him/her, he/she won’t eat!” I’ve witnessed these cringe-worthy moments many times with family, friends, and strangers alike and with kids both with and without disabilities.
- Cleaning up after their children after meal (cleaning off plate, placing dishes in sink, etc.), brushing their child’s hair, tying their shoes, and more.
I once worked with a teen with Cerebral Palsy who cannot walk and uses a power wheelchair. He was a great kid whose loving mother did everything for him, despite him having the ability to do many of those same things for himself.
When my student arrived on his first day at work at his first job I found him, it was the winter and he was bundled up in a scarf, gloves, and a hat. No sooner did he arrive via his school bus then a gaggle of his female coworkers converged upon him at the store’s entrance, practically tripping over each other to help him. One coworker removed his hat, another took off his gloves, while a third unwrapped his scarf from around his neck. My student was in heaven with all of this attention being heaped upon him by the lovely ladies.
After that first time, I called my student aside and asked him if he was able to do all of these things himself. He observed me for a few moments, knowing what I was getting at, before he responded “Yes.” I said from that point going forward, he must do those things himself and not rely on others to do them for him.
In great detail, I explained why.
In time, I watched my student complete these—and many other—tasks himself. In time he grew more confident, empowered, and became more independent. In fact, ten years later he’s a successful 26-year-old who works full-time for a nonprofit agency that serves individuals with disabilities.
FOUR
Get your child familiar with the operation and management of your home and its functioning—just as you are familiar with it.
- Does your child know how to do laundry and how often it’s done?
- Does your child know what nights the garbage goes out? The recycling? And where to place those large cans? Does your child know how to separate garbage from recycling? Does your child take out the garbage?
- Does your child help you put away the goods when you arrive home from food shopping? They can . . . and should.
You’d be surprised not only at how much kids can do, but may actually want to do . . . if given the chance to do it.
Recently, I helped friends move to their new home. My friends rented a U-Haul and I helped them pack it up. Once we reached the new home, I asked if we could get my friend’s kids—aged 8 and 10—to help unpack the truck. My friend looked at me curiously and said that his kids were young and likely were not interested in helping, but agreed to call them anyway. The kids enthusiastically came running out and, with supervision, helped unpack the truck in no time, carefully walking items from the truck inside the home, where their mother was waiting and instructed where to put things. The kids were eager and happy to help, felt good about helping, and did a great job. My friends were surprised and saw their children in a whole new light.
FIVE
Train your child in situational awareness, be it at home, in school, or out in the community.
- how to stay safe at all times
- what danger signs to lookout for when out in public
- how to handle situations if they arise
- when out at a mall, does your child know how to read a directory and map? Does your child know where the exits are? Where the management/security office is?
- how to stay safe online and away from predators.
A few years back, with parental permission, one of my 13-year-old students was playing Minecraft online with someone with the screen name that identified her as a 13-year-old cute girl (Ex: cutegirlage13). When I asked my student how he knew this other player was 13 . . . and a girl . . . and cute, he matter-of-factly yet naively replied, “because that’s what her screen name is.” I told both my student and his mother that there’s a good chance that the other player was NOT 13, but an adult. And a male. And a predator.
As the saying goes, better be (trained) safe than sorry.
These are 5 Things Parents Can Do To Help Their Disabled Teen.
To learn more about helping youth with disabilities, visit www.specialstoriesbook.com and check out the book “Special Stories . . .” by Mike Kelly.
